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At 31, dating blogger Erin Meanley looks back and shares 31 dating truths she wishes she had known ten years earlier when she was 21.
"31 things I wish I'd known about dating when I was 21" - 2 - MSN Relationships - article
Seeded on Mon May 17, 2010 9:46 AM EDT
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- Public Discussion (9)
If this is what Erin has learned about guys in the last ten years of dating, then something tells me she is still going to be writing this column ten years from now. And in twenty, and in thirty.
There is a kernel of truth in most of her statements. But she doesn't seem to have any kind of a handle at all on why guys act the way we do.
For example, she may think "not lifting a finger at first" is the way to go, and that she is just weeding out the guys that don't really care about her as a person. Nothing could be further from the truth. For every pig you weed out this way, you're missing out on nine who just need a little hint or push. Dating is just as hard for guys at it is for the girls. Sometimes a little clue is a good thing. You don't want to waste your time on a guy who doesn't really care, and the guy is thinking the exact same thing. Think about it.
- 2 votes
#1 - Mon May 17, 2010 9:46 AM EDTI find this article hard to read. Not surprising. I'm a guy. I don't mean that she can't write, but it's hard to understand what she is really aiming at. In the end I'm left with a hearty "Yah!!! er- um-- so what?!" But then, I'm a guy.
There was one part though,#20 which had something that caught my eye. At no time, no matter what the circumstances or character, is it allowable for a man to hit a woman. The rest can be a matter of personal choice, even swearing and moodiness, but physical violence-- uh-uh. As a man I have no patience with other men who hit their girl friends or wives. I have immediately cut off friendships with men who I heard did this (or were unfaithful to their wives or girlfriends.).
As a guy though I have a significantly different view of women. First of all I don't care for sports so I never watch the game. I know nothing about football and do not even know how many baskets make a home run-- and have no desire to know. The only sports I am interested in are fencing, equestrian show jumping, dressage, and hiking. I heartily agree with a woman having hobbies. It shows she is interesting and has something on her own.
I know a little about women. What a woman wants is for a man to love her like she has never been loved before. Totally, universally, wonderfully, and selflessly, and I do not mean sex here. She wants someone to love HER and for herself alone, and not for any thing she can do or be or has. For me this has been easy. I have always loved women. I love everything about them. The way they look, the way they talk, laugh, smile, walk, think, smell, sound, act, and sit there and read the New York phone book. I love everything about them. Yes- sex is nice- but there is something intoxicating and wonderful about them beyone sex. It doesn't matter to me if they are short or tall, chubby or slim, rich, poor, foreign or domestic, farmers daughters and society babes, old and young. They are just wonderful. They are all beautiful in all their grace and folly.
Romance is the most beautiful thing in the world and one cannot have it without women. They give live its savor and an otherwise drab existence its color and happiness. Sex is nice, but somehow for me the seduction is far more interesting. I've had my success with women, but I never took a liberty that wasn't free offered and though I have had several lovers in my younger years, I never once caused one of them to cry.
I have been married nor for 38 years now to the same woman. She is not the sexiest or prettiest, or most intelligent, or interesting woman I have ever met, but she is every bit as wonderful as all of them.
La Donna Mobile and thank God for it.
Sigurd.
#2 - Mon May 17, 2010 10:44 AM EDTSigurd Rohwedder wrote "She wants someone to love HER and for herself alone, and not for any thing she can do or be or has."
Unfortunately, women will never love a man for those very qualifications. A man is valued and described by how well he fares socioeconomically against other men.
Interesting...........most of these "opinions" seem sexist and antiquated.
#3 - Mon May 17, 2010 12:02 PM EDTMen are expected to "advance." Women were always perfect.
This article gives the usual advice about how men should be expected to "put out up front" by paying and doing the usual. Paying once out of every five times at TGI ? That's old school. "be a good cook." If a guy is doing the paying, the woman had better be a good cook. "Men don't think" Somehow, men are able to build civilizations and build better vaccum cleaners while women are content to shop for them on-line. The only thing men aren't smart enough to do is get a woman to design, manufacture, transport and install a dishwasher for them.
Towards the end of their dating phase, men are looking for a mother. If a woman isn't demonstrating that she can maintain a household and be a good mother, she will never marry.
I can agree with most of these homilies, but 6, 8 and especially 24 are way off-base: men never bring up marriage first; guys will love a birthday present; and the 5:1 ratio of casual dining to a nice place is wrong and evidently a failed attempt at humor.
#4 - Mon May 17, 2010 12:15 PM EDTShe struggles for obvious reasons. I think the last one is BY FOR THE BEST!!
- 1 vote
#5 - Mon May 17, 2010 2:39 PM EDT"30. Expectations?"
If you a woman is not in the top 20% of the women that the top 20% of men want, have realistic expectations that you will not beat the system.
Most women do not want to accept the reality that their dating value drops very quickly as they approach age 35 for men within five years of their own age. The demand for them shifts to another age bracket of men aged 45+.
Gah, dating is so hard. I think I should just carve out a niche as a lifelong bachelor.
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